


Raison D'être

by FruityTootyMarvelBooty



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Another fake death by Loki, Brothers, I didn't do it for him, Illusions, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, Loki wants to do good, Loki's mind is like an enigma, Loss of Control, Loss of Trust, Love, Other, Reason for being, Regret, Sad Thor, Sadness, Thor: The Dark World, Trust my rage, You are a fool, You won't see much of Jane, inner battle, loki is a little shit, raison d'être, vengence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 10:06:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11849325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FruityTootyMarvelBooty/pseuds/FruityTootyMarvelBooty
Summary: During the fight with Malekith and Kurse on Svartalfheim, the God of mischief discovers something he's so blindly ignored for so long.





	Raison D'être

Frigga was gone. Loki didn't know how, but all he knew was she was dead, and in his mind, it was his fault. He showed the beast the way and his mother must have died thinking about the last thing he ever said to her. 

Thor came and told him his ridiculous plan. He should know by now that anyone who trusts Loki, the God of Mischief and Lies, winds up regretting it dearly. 

"Loki enough. No more illusions."

Loki smiles a little then it drops. He closes his eyes and bends his head, the magic disappears with a ripple, and the illusion of a neat tidy cell in reality, showed the room a mess. The furniture scattered, upturned, Loki sitting against the opposite wall. His battle dress was gone, revealing normal, but torn clothing, his hair a mess. This is how the God truly felt on the inside. 

"Now you see me brother."

The God of Thunder then offer his brother vengeance. Vengeance against Malekith, Kurse, for what they did to their mother. So far, that idea sounded far sweeter than anything he had previously been offered. Though before he was put into this cell, the last offer would only be given if he went through pain first, and he did. 

"You help me escape Asgard and I will grant it to you. Vengeance. And afterward, this cell."

The other man chuckled and shook his head, his eyes never leaving the blond. As stupid as it sounded, he couldn't help but feel a little warmth surging through his chest. Though he may deny it, he loves his brother. He hates Thor, with all he's got, but losing him, seeing him fail or die, would truly break his heart. 

The trickster pushed that thought to the back of his mind and said "You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?"

The blond said "I don’t. Mother did. But you should know that when we fought each other in the past, I did so with the glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere..."

Loki had noticed that. Hearing that made the warmth grow. Until. "That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me and I will kill you." And the warmth disappeared all together. 

The trickster smiled, hiding his pain like he always did, and just as his mother did the last time he saw her, and asked "When do we start?"

 

***************************

 

Upon the dead realm of Svartalfheim, their skiff glides over dead plains and broken cities. He places a cover over Jane, who is still unconscious. The trickster watches and shakes his head.

He said "What I could do with the power that flows through those veins.." He clenched his fists at the thought of it, and it reminded him of his attempt back in New York with the Chitauri. It felt like the scepter they granted him was speaking.

Thor didn't look back at his brother, keeping his eyes on Jane. He said "It would consume you." And the trickster agreed.

 

***************************

 

"You think you alone were loved by Mother? You had her tricks, but I had her trust."

Loki had told him that Jane may not survive this, and if she did, it will hurt once she dies at whatever other time that might be. Thor shouldn't attach himself to humans, because their mortality will hurt him in the end. He's sure the AllFather would say it would make him unworthy, he knows his adoptive father well. 

The trickster couldn't believe his ears. "Trust? Was that her last expression? Trust? When you let her die?!"

The blond's face hardened and he leaned forward, asking "What help were you in your cell??"

"Who put me there?  _Who put me there?!?!"_  He screamed, trying to keep himself composed. But just thinking about his mother brought tears to his eyes. He was also angry that no one, not even his own brother helped her in her last moments.

Thor leaps towards Loki and knocks him back, surprising the God of Mischief. He pressed him against the boat, holding him there. He said "You know damn well. You know  _damn well who!_ "

He was frightened. This was the most scared he had ever been of his brother, and there were plenty of times where the blond scared him. Thor raised his fist to Loki but stops himself from taking a swing. The brothers pause for a moment, until Thor backs away.

"She wouldn't want us to fight."

That was true. Though she never minded their sibling rivalry before all of this, far before Loki had ever found out who he really was, and far before Loki gave the Frost giants passage into Asgard and stalled Thor's coronation. But before her death, she would've done anything to keep them from killing each other.

The trickster thinks about this for a moment, and his expression lightens. He felt the tears blinding his vision, and he said "Well she wouldn't exactly be surprised." Laughing a little.

His brother did the same, but felt a sadness growing in his heart. He felt tears of his own pool in his eyes, but he fought to keep them back, thinking Loki was tricking him and would be pleased to see the pain he was causing him. He said "I wish I could trust you." And swallowed.

 _'As do I'_  Loki thought. That didn't help with the tears, but he fought them back. He thought about asking Thor for forgiveness or to tell him he was sorry, but already knew Thor would misinterpret it as a trick. No one ever knows what to expect from him, not even Loki himself, sometimes. Which is why he is in fact the God of Mischief and Lies.

"Trust my rage." He said. Hoping that if he proves himself to his brother, he'll earn his trust back. But he already has another trick up his sleeve, as he always did, but pushed his pain away for now, and focused on avenging his mother. 

 

***************************

 

After their plan was set in motion, they fought against Malekith and his forces. After Loki defeats a few Dark Elves, he looks and sees his brother, Kurse beating him into the ground.

Something in him ignites. He already hated the creature beating Thor, with all his being. He killed her, he killed the only woman in his life who mattered, and he will pay _dearly_. But just seeing it hurting the blond, he felt that rage grow stronger. Then it hit him.

The only people he loved more than anything in the universe, are _Frigga and Thor._ His mother and his brother. Even though they're not bonded by blood, he's loved them as if they were, but his rage and madness has made him forget that. And now that Frigga was no longer with them, Thor is all he truly has left. He tried to love Odin, truly he tried, but now he means absolutely nothing to him anymore. 

But Thor still matters to him. The trickster always thought his life's purpose, his  _raison d'être_ , were his lies, tricks, magic, and the ability to be twelve steps ahead of the rest, but no. It was _Frigga and Thor._ But now, it is _Thor_ and Thor alone. And he knows what he must do.

Thor tried to shield himself from the Kurses' blows, but without Mjölnir at his side, the creature just might win. He fails to see his brother sneak up from behind and suddenly, he looks up and sees a huge blade through it, sticking far out from it. Kurse turns and Thor sees his brother. But before anything could be done, it grabs the trickster and impales Loki onto the blade, the blade piercing through his chest.

" _NO!_ " Thor screams, and Kurse shoves Loki off the blade and to the ground, walking towards him. Though Loki seems completely unaffected by his new injury.

Loki took deep breaths and said "See you in Hel, monster."

Kurse blinks and looks down, realizing that Loki has activated the black hole grenade he wears at his hip. Before he can get it off of him, it explodes, sucking the mutated Dark Elf into a black hole, disappearing completely. If he hadn't shoved Loki off, he would've taken the trickster with him. 

Thor quickly rushed over to his brother, dropping back to the ground, pulling the smaller body into his arms, saying "No, no, no…" as he did. Thor felt the tears coming back, and he said "You fool, you didn’t listen."

Loki smiled a little at the blond, whispering "I know…I’m a fool, I’m a fool.."

The future King of Asgard said "Stay with me, okay?"

The trickster said "I’m sorry…I’m sorry. I’m sorry..." Though he knew this was a trick, this, him saying sorry like this, he truly meant it. Because he knew he would be hurting him and losing his brothers trust yet again.

The blond shook his head and rested his hand on Loki's cheek, keeping the tricksters eyes on him. "Shh…It’s okay.." Loki made himself grow calm as forced himself to stop shaking. His face began to turn a strange color resembling soot, and Thor begged the Norns not to do this. He said "It's alight...I’ll tell Father what you did here today."

Loki didn't give a damn about Odin. He would never fight for Odin or try to make him proud and finally earn his love, not anymore. He did this for Thor. But he had to stick to his plan. Though now it pained him to do so.

He smiled one last time at his brother, whose spirit always resembled the sun which contrasted the moon inside Loki, and said "I didn’t do it for him."  _'Forgive me, Brother.'_ Tears rolled down his cheeks as he heard the blond scream for him.

_'I will see you again.'_

 

***************************

 

After defeating Malekith and what was left of his forces, he returned back home. He knelt before the throne, and told his father he could not take his place as King, but would rather be a protector of Asgard, and all the realms.

Odin leaned back in his seat and said. "One son who wanted the Throne too much, another who will not take it...Is this my legacy?"

The blond smiled a little and said "Loki died with honour. I shall try to live the same. Is that not legacy enough?"

Loki, who masked as the AllFather while the wellbeing of the real Odin was of no importance to the trickster, felt the same warmth he felt back in his cell, return. Though his brothers words were kind, and he meant it he couldn't let Thor see it, he had to keep his act up. 

The fake Odin nodded and they stood. Thor looks down to _Mjlnor_ and offers it back to the AllFather, but Loki looks down at it and back up at the blond, shaking his head and said "It belongs to you. If you are worthy of it." Knowing if he tried to wield it, Thor would know instantly that he wasn't speaking to his father."

Thor nodded and stepped back, saying "I shall try to be." Before turning and started walking off. Loki decided to do one last thing to show his love for his brother and said "I cannot give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good fortune.."

The God of Thunder turned and look back at the false King and nodded. "I know."

If I were proud of the man my son had become, even that I could not say, I would speak only from my heart...Go, my son..."

Thor smiled a little and said "Thank you, father." Before walking away.

The false King watched as Thor departed, and felt the warmth disappear again, leaving a coldness in it's place where his heart lie. He's not sure if the real Odin would say this to Thor, being that Thor is his actual child, but if not, then all the more reason to despise the AllFather.

But Loki meant every word he said, even though he was working his own magic. When Thor was far enough away, the trickster put an end to the illusion and his disguise fell away, leaving him in his true form.

He smiled and said "No, thank you." His smile spreading to a wicked grin, but he had hope. That even though Thor would most likely throttle him once he realized Loki has hurt and tricked him once more, he longs for the day he shall see his brother again.


End file.
